


Dear Tess

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-03
Updated: 2002-02-03
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A letter to a friend.





	Dear Tess

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

Author: Toni Harrison  
Rating: General mainly with a tiny bit of PG and the  
odd very mild profanity!  
Spoilers:ITWH through to TWAH  
Summary: A letter to a friend  
Archive: Yep definitely...just let me know and I'd  
be really happy! :)  
Feedback: Devoured and much appreciated...be it  
positive or not so positive...I'd be really grateful  
I'm in the UK so doing fic is  
fast becoming my way of coping til whenever we get  
Season 3! :) Thanks for reading!

Finally a huge thankyou to the wonderful Charlotte  
who's a brilliant writer and betaed for me....Thanks  
for being so honest and polishing the very rough  
edges..I so appreciate it. You're very cool! :)

***************************

Dear Tess

***************************  
2.45AM

Dear Tess,

Please forgive me for neglecting you so much  
recently....I think you may when you hear what I  
have to say....what do you mean you don't wanna hear  
it?

So it's like this: just a few weeks ago, I was a  
perfectly happy single woman and now I'm 6lbs  
lighter despite eating out for what seems like every  
night in those 73 days. For goodness sake, I'm  
better than this, Tess my dear friend!

Ah, so much has happened since D'Oyley  
Carte..Admittedly it wasn't the best start....well,  
it wasn't my fault the tickets I got had the only  
obstructed view in the whole auditorium. And  
although the chivalry displayed by Sam...see, I told  
you, Tess, I can now say his name.....SAM SAM SAM  
SAM SAM! No, I'm not losing my mind. This is the true  
result of drinking four creme de cacaos, my friend! Oh  
goddamit, get back to the story, Ainsley....As I was  
saying, his display of chivalry went down well. It  
was the standing next to him while he asked  
vociferously (albeit in a very Sam-like way) if they  
knew who he was and if they could see how short I  
was, thus making an enemy of everyone in the last  
fifteen rows of the auditorium and therefore doing a  
better job than any Republican of turning even the  
firmest Democrat against their party that didn't  
make the best of starts to any budding  
relation...friendship.

Our friendship could only get better after the start  
it had had. We decided after much bobbing of our  
heads and at least one painful coming together (of  
our heads, that is) it would be better to call it  
quits and go for something to eat. Well, actually, I  
decided it, despite Sam's protestations that he  
could see perfectly and liked the idea of a  
completely innapropriate David Letterman lookalike  
playing the Pirate King. I was starving, dear Tess  
and the fact that we had so far spent nearly 90  
minutes of our first date (did I say date? I  
meant...evening out as friends) having Sam lose his  
temper, bang our heads together and listening to my  
stomach making up its own musical accompaniment in a  
way Gilbert and Sullivan could never have imagined,  
decided it for me. So we went to a great little  
Italian restaurant, Ventimiglia's, where we talked  
and talked, and laughed and sang til the early hours  
of the morning. I don't know if we actually knew  
anything more about each other by the end of the  
night but the natural and easy way we talked  
together despite my occasional going off a tangent  
(who, me?) promised a friendship I could rely on. No  
more, no less.

Sam's great, sweet, funny - and not at all the easy  
to figure out guy I thought he was. As I've said  
before in our many conversations, I'd heard all the  
sniping that he was just a pretty guy chosen for his  
looks and and the way he can soften any conversation  
with those eyes.Believe me, I've changed this  
opinion recently. He's changed even in the short  
time I've known him. What happened to Josh has  
affected Sam more than I think even he realises. His  
confidence in human nature has been dented, not  
permanently I think, (I hope) but he's not so self  
assured or trusting in the world. He seems so  
introspective at times and I can't seem to shake him  
out of the lulls in his mood.

He has such complex relationships with everyone  
around him. There's Toby, a funny sort of guy. I  
can't make out his feelings towards Sam, he seems  
protective and yet dismissive, maybe there's  
insecurity there, maybe it's just that he wants to  
toughen Sam up for the battles he already knows lie  
ahead. CJ, he adores CJ, hell everyone does; she's  
smart, beautiful and works the press room like a  
charm, I know I'd be lost in that room. There seems  
to be a bond between them - not that I can work out  
what that bond is but it's there and, yup,  
occasionally I feel a stir of envy. Josh, his  
closest friend and ally, but oh boy, how that's been  
put to the test recently. Josh has PTSD following  
Rosslyn. Thing is, everyone was too wrapped up in  
the issues at this place they didn't notice til it  
was nearly too late and, yes, you guessed it, Sam  
feels that he's let Josh down. I have tried to get  
to Sam to open up but as he blocks me out, I can see  
him getting more tired and the smallest things are  
beginning to chip away at him and his beliefs. He  
thought he was Josh's best friend, but he couldn't  
save Josh from the PTSD.

Hey, I know you can't absorb this doom and gloom for  
ever so I won't go on too long.....what else has  
happened? Well, we have been on so many nights out  
just the two of us, it's been great and just a  
little weird. I've found myself just knowing what  
he's gonna say next before he says it. He has a  
fascination for the strangest things. I could give  
him any starting point in the US and a finishing  
point in the furthest state away, he would give me  
four ways to travel there, People laugh at him or  
Leo looks at him in the way that only Leo can. When  
we've gone bowling, I now know that he likes to have  
two ice cold beers before he starts so relaxes and  
can do that little skippy run up that creases me up  
every time. I know how he hates losing and loves to  
listen to Don Henley on his stereo. Despite his  
health kick reputation, if we go out on a Thursday  
night, he always goes to Burger King for the largest  
chocolate milkshake they have. I had to stop myself  
from buying that dog eared but apparently hugely  
valuable Great Expectations copy we saw in the  
little second hand bookshop we visited. I see the  
way he fondly talks about his ex girlfriends, not  
that there have been many but the second I ask about  
Lisa, the smile disappears and the light is gone  
from his eyes. I really wish I knew what she did.

He tells me I make him laugh and that he likes me  
'as a potential friend' Yes, as a friend, Tess!,  
even despite the arguments we had. He likes that I  
talk in the way I do and that I am utterly  
delightful despite being a Blonde Republican that  
no-one likes (his words!). He's just teasing  
though. All men do, don't they? He keeps saying  
it'll get harder and harder to keep it a secret,  
What? I say....Us, he replies.....I really don't  
know what he's talking about.

This evening, I feel good about life....The creme de  
cacao may again be having a rather positive impact  
on those feelings I admit and, oh boy, I would blame  
it on the bossanova but I already did that tonight  
and that was when the president comes in. Mark , the  
cute guy from Capitol Beat, I was on there tonight  
and he thinks I'm something else, well, he asked  
what I thought the president's opinion was and me  
being a honest straight talking girl said how the  
heck should I know I've never met the guy and hey  
presto next thing you know, Sam's saying I'll get  
you to meet the president..He really didn't need to.  
I sit in wet paint but in my defence so it would  
appear did half of the West Wing female staff and  
started dancing around in my room......You can guess  
what happened next! Oh, the mortification, and now  
Sam's saying he'll set it up all over again!......oops  
there's the doorbell......I'll be right back.

4.45am

Who was it that said a life can change so  
quickly?....Oh, that was me wasn't it? Sam was at  
the door and seemed restless, I being a complete  
klutz at times left him standing awkwardly on the  
doorstep while I smiled inanely and once again  
talked of the mortification brought on my family not  
to mention the $800 dollar suit I ruined on that  
seat tonight....When Sam pointedly asked if the  
speech was re-running again on C-Span I shamefacedly  
and hurriedly invited him in and turned on the tv.  
Sure enough, it was showing, As I went to make a  
coffee for Sam and turned to shout out some  
incredibly well thought out and observed comment on  
the speech, Sam was behind me and reached a hand out  
to my hair. I actually jumped back and did a crazy  
little dance on the spot and spilt milk all over  
myself. As I hastily excused myself to change, Sam  
followed me to the door of the bedroom and called my  
name. I still can't remember what happened next but  
here I am two hours later and, my god, Tess, now I  
know some other things about this man.

I know the touch of his hand on my face, the caress  
of his lips against my neck, shoulders and mouth. I  
know the feeling of his hands on my waist and the  
way he actually picked me up and laid me on the bed  
and the gentle but insistent and spine tinglingly  
way he takes away all of your inhibitions and  
exhausts, exhilarates and feeds every sense in my  
body. The way his words aren't just incredible in  
print. The way he looks now, when he's asleep, so at  
peace, so handsome. The way he took every single  
thought that this was wrong and leaves me knowing  
that my life can never be the same again and that  
I'm no longer just his friend, not someone just to  
go bowling with, to laugh at my inability to talk in  
simple sentences, but a person he can count on.  
Someone he can tell all about Lisa and his  
disappointments and worries, someone else entirely  
in his life. This man who I like and makes me feel  
good about myself, a man who touches me in a way no  
other can....This man who I , oh Tess, I know I ask  
so much of you and you're just a diary but... I just  
can't bring myself to say it.........................

TO BE CONTINUED.................


End file.
